Talking to a kid about getting catcalled, beforehand

Post date: 2020-09-21 09:18:51

Looking for resources to help prepare my tween daughter for the eventuality of getting catcalled.

When my partner was the age my daughter is approaching now -- around 10 or 11 -- she started getting lots of shitty, unwanted sexual comments on the street and at school, and it was a horrible surprise to her. She had had no heads-up from school or family that such a thing might happen, and we would like to prepare our daughter better.

Helpful parenting things we already have in place (things I am *not* looking for more help with in this Ask):

- daughter has a good foundation of body positivity

- a hands-off approach to clothes: as long as it's weather-appropriate and in our budget, she largely gets to pick what we buy and what she wears

- emphasis on speaking up and giving voice to feelings -- we have been teaching her these skills all along, and she excels at them

- wide range of age-appropriate resources on sex ed, puberty, speaking up, empowerment in various social situations. (Several of these books discuss how to deal with unwanted touching, or with bullying in a general way, but none bring up the specific issue of unwanted attention in public--cat-calling, street harassment, etc. This omission was surprising to me.)

- relative ease and openness in talking with our daughter about all the above

Things I *am* looking for:

Books, scripts, videos, articles, etc., that include the specific issue of unwanted sexualized comments / verbal street harassment. Either written for kids 9 to 12 years old, or written for parents to help discuss / support this. Preference for guides and nonfiction, although if you have found any YA fiction particularly useful on this topic, please mention it! (Like, we draw lessons and inspiration from Keladry of Mindelan all the time but here we are looking for something more specific and practical.)

Open to various topics and approaches -- what are good ways to respond to catcalling, short-term and long-term? Different behaviors for peers / older kids / grownups, and whether it's at school or it's strangers on the street? What are good approaches to dealing with the feelings that it might bring up? How to integrate this experience with all the other changing-body-plus-new-feelings stuff happening during puberty? Et cetera.

Possibly relevant: We live in the US, in a fairly dense urban area, and daughter is starting to go further afield on her own or with peers.

We have dug around a bit online and found a few things but not much. Certainly we'll be talking with her about our own experiences, but we're very interested in any resources that have been useful to you / your family! Thanks.

Please click Here to read the full story.