In a nutshell: her sister died. It's been 10 days of cohabitation, and while my heart goes out to her, I am starting to get tired of sharing my home with her. Help me talk to her about moving back to her own home?
It's not like there's an ISSUE per se. She's not demanding at all, and is a perfectly lovely houseguest. She is perfectly happy to read, watch TV, and entertain herself while I work and the kids go about their schoolwork and projects, but *I* can't really relax into my routines because that weird and intangible ~feeling~ of having a guest in my home never leaves me.
Having her in my home means working my schedule (and my kids' schedules!) around her timetable. She keeps very late hours, for instance, and I gotta make sure my kids tiptoe around all morning so we don't wake her. No more boisterous yoga hour to start the day! Her dietary needs mean that I'm often cooking something separate for her, and since yesterday I've been feeling a bit of an internal groan as I do it. TBH - this is so mean spirited that I don't even want to admit it - she's been making a dent in my alcohol stash, my nicer chocolate, my expensive ingredients, etc. and I am starting to resent that. (Which makes me hate myself, ugh: culturally and personality-wise, I am usually compulsive about feeding people!) I don't feel okay asking to be paid back for food. When I drove her to Boston to see her sister in the last few hours, she did pay me for gas, and that was hard enough to accept! This is difficult for me to navigate.
Anyway, I am not yet at the point where I'm actually grumpy so now may be the perfect time for me to tell her, gently, that she needs to go home -- not just for the hour or two that she has been doing to cuddle her cats, but for like a whole day and night. Two, even!
How do I ask her to leave? Her sister just died. She's so bereft. And this COVID situation means she can't hang out physically with her other friends (she and I, out of necessity, have formed what we are calling a mutually monogamous "pod" where we can/must see each other - see my last Ask for context). She's in no shape to go home alone, honestly.
A script would really help! |
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