How do I deal with this toxic coworker and bad fit at my job?

Post date: 2019-05-25 04:51:05

How do I deal with this situation with a toxic coworker and a manager that, well, doesn't manage? I'll start from the beginning in case any of this is relevant.

I work in the fundraising office of a small liberal arts college. In June I will have been here for 9 months. I have one team member and a manager. There was a person in my position before but she left a few months before I came on. My team member, I'll call her Alice, and I are both at Assistant Director level. I am AD of X and she is AD of X and Y. Another wrinkle is I like doing Y and it was one of my favorite parts of my old job, and I talked a lot about doing it when I interviewed so I thought that I would be getting to do some of that. Once I arrived here I realized Y is part of Alice's title and she is very territorial about it. Any suggestions I make are met with blank looks and a brush off, and when I ask questions she comes across like I shouldn't be questioning her or it's a stupid question to ask. She is otherwise friendly and "nice" but if I try to ask her anything about her work she shuts down.

I have had very little training. Alice has projects and processes that she "owns" but I don't have that. I feel very reactive, and that I'm junior to Alice even though I have been doing this work longer than she has, and that's how she treats me too. At my 6 month review meeting (which happened closer to 7 months) I told my manager that it would help me to have my role more clearly defined and that I still feel out of the loop, but nothing has changed since then. I think I need to "manage up" more and be more proactive, but I don't know how to do that.

I moved across the country for this job because I wanted to live in this area again and I'm really having regrets. At my last job I had excellent managers who were always looking for way I could grow professionally and have more ways to contribute, and I don't have that here at all. I have spoken to my manager's manager and he is trying to help, but it still doesn't change this dynamic with Alice.

I don't really know what to do here. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is this job just not a good fit? . There aren't that many jobs in this field around here, so I'm feeling kind of stuck. I have thought about trying to get a job in another department in the school, but I really like this kind of work and I think I'm good at it.

Please click Here to read the full story.